Nutcracker Casting

So we just had a meeting about this yesterday but hopefully no one from ballet reads my blog. It’s just, I’m not happy with my part in the nutcracker.

Normally, I would be grateful to just be in the nutcracker, and I am. This is my first time after all. I just feel like the part I’m cast in doesn’t fit me very well.

I’m cast as an angel. And judging from the other people who are cast as an angel as well, I can pretty much bet it’s not a very technically challenging part. I thought I was going to be a candy cane, but I’m set to understudy that. :/

It’s just, I feel like I’m not getting a chance to show my true potential. I know what I’m capable of doing and I know I can do more advanced parts, if they’ll only give me a chance.

I mean, I know they just want the performance to be good, so they cast the people they think will do the best job…but I just feel like I’m not getting a chance. Our director claims to be able to tell what people can and can’t dance, but he’s seen me dance, what?? Like 3 times ever (not counting studio run throughs.) How much can you really tell about a person’s ability from that little amount??

I know I’m breaking all the rules by posting this blog. I’m supposed to be grateful for my part and not say anything mean and all that stuff. I don’t think the other dancers don’t deserve their parts…I know they’ve worked hard and everything to get where there are. But I’ve been working hard too. :/

It’s just sometimes I feel like there’s a little favoritism going on. I didn’t have an older sibling pave the way for me like a lot of people did. I don’t have stay at home parents who can devote endless amounts of time to the ballet. I started late so that instantly means I suck or whatever. (Now I know I’m definitely breaking the rules because they specifically mentioned this type of complaining.)

I guess I’m just buying into all those “lies” they were talking about. You know, the ones like “she only got the part because her mom works in the costume room” and all that good stuff. But I’m sorry. I can’t just pretend I’m overjoyed about my part. And I mean, as much as they’d like to deny it, there probably is some favoritism that goes on, we’re all human after all.

I’m just tired of always feeling like an outsider at ballet. I don’t fit it. I’m not really friends with anybody. I just want to get a good part so I can prove to everybody that yes, I belong here and yes, I’m not a crappy dancer.

Is that so wrong??

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