I’m Still Heartbroken

I still want to be a professional dancer.

I know I said I was okay with it. That I had decided being a professional was not for me. But I was lying to myself.

I still want to dance professionally so badly.
But it just seems impossible.

I know what I’m capable of, I believe I can do it. But who will teach me?? No one in their right mind would want me, or accept me into their program.

I’m already dancing 5 days a week but I don’t feel like I’m getting any better. We don’t have the money or the time for private lessons.

It just seems so unfair.

I’m tired of everybody telling me that I can’t do it, that its impossible – but I just want to dance!! It breaks my heart to think of not doing it, but there seems to be no other option.

I hate myself for not starting earlier. I wish I could go back in time and start as a kid.

I feel like no one sees my true potential but me.

I feel like with proper training, in 4 years, I could be ready for a professional career…but all the good schools are too far away and too expensive…and we make too much money for scholarships.

I just don’t understand it. Not at all.

I don’t think anyone understands how much this means to me, or how much it hurts.

It breaks my heart.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. incomepowerboost
    Oct 01, 2010 @ 00:18:34

    I don’t know alot about ballet or what effect age has on your career but if there is any way you can make it work, Don’t give up! The world is full of stories of people overcoming the odds. I saw a news story on ABC’s 20/20 about a guy who wanted a house so what did he do ? He traded for one. He took 1 red paper clip and trade his way to owning a house. If someone can turn a paper clip into a house anything is possible.

    Reply

  2. classicalballetteacher
    Oct 03, 2010 @ 21:40:51

    Didn’t you get two level promotions this year …? You see where I’m going with this, don’t you …

    P.S. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

    Reply

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