George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker

Tonight, PBS will be showing George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker live from the Lincoln Center. I am so excited!! I cannot wait to watch it. I have never seen the New York City Ballet perform but obviously, they are one of the best. And I can’t want to see them!!

I was really sad because not only did I not get to perform in the Nutcracker this year, I wasn’t even home to watch my studio’s performance. So I’m very happy that I’ll still get to see the Nutcracker. Seeing it on TV is obviously not as good as seeing it in person, but I am happy nonetheless.

After I watch it tonight, I’ll edit this post and let y’all know what I thought!! :D

Alright, I really loved watching the Nutcracker. I wish I had had more experience performing the different parts so that I could’ve compared how they were different to what my studio does.

I think it’s insane how many people are in NYCB’s Nutcracker. We had such a limited amount of people who were advanced enough to perform the technical roles last year, that seeing that many people perform all those parts was mind boggling.

One thing I didn’t like, and this is why seeing it live is always better, is how the cameras would focus in on the dancer’s face while they were dancing. I want to see the foot work!! But I guess that’s what happens when you actually do ballet. The steps become more important than the acting.

I can’t remember exactly everything I thought about it now. I got side tracked skyping with someone. But I was still very impressed with the ballet. And I’m glad I got to see the Nutcracker even though I missed my studio’s performance.

Oh, I did like how Clara was played by a younger person on flat. I wish my studio would do that. The way my studio does the Nutcracker, almost all of the parts are on pointe, including Clara. Which really limits what the younger dancers to do. I think it would be nice to put Clara on flat so that way, dancers like me, who maybe are technically able, just not able on pointe, would have more options to dance.

Oh, I miss ballet. I’m still holding out hope that I’ll be able to take classes this summer. I’ll have a short summer this year, but it will at least give me something to do and give me exercise. Plus, I still really want to improve my pointe work.

But anyways, it was really nice to see the Nutcracker. That’s actually the first time I’ve ever watched it without performing it. Last year was the first time I’d ever seen it period, but I had to catch glimpses of it from backstage.

I love ballet. :D


Quick Update

So its been a while since I posted so I figure I’ll give y’all a quick update on my life.

I had my second midterm for polisci and econ not too long ago. I did really well on my polisci exam but not so good on my econ one. I’ll really have to study for the final exam in that class. I honestly do like economics, but the math is getting to me. All the graphs and formulas are difficult for me to understand and remember. But I have to pass the class because it’s a prerequisite for my major, so I’ve really got to do some studying for the final.

This weekend was Veteran’s day weekend so all of my friends went home. Nothing much exciting happened. I spent most of the weekend with my boyfriend. I tried Ethiopian food for the first time and I have to say, it was really good. They put all of the orders in one big dish and everyone shares. And you use this really strange bread as your utensil. It’s spongy and kind of sour tasting but it goes really well with the food.

Mainly things have been pretty routine. Dance is going well. We moved on from learning the Humphrey technique to studying Cunningham’s technique. We haven’t been studying it very long so I’m not sure if I like it or not yet. The new exercises we’ve learned are really fun though. One exercise we do is set to the theme song from “House”. It’s really high energy with lots of jumping. It’s probably one of my favorite dances we’ve learned so far.

I won’t be taking any dance classes next quarter because I can’t fit any of them into my schedule, which I’m okay with. Now that I’ve gotten experience with modern, I realize, it is fun, but I love the challenge ballet provides more. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about ballet. I really wish I could dance up here but I just don’t see it fitting into my schedule anywhere. What with classes, trying to spend time with my friends, and fulfilling the requirements to be in the International Affairs scholars program, I don’t really have free hours. But I’m still holding out hope that I’ll be able to do it over the summer at my old studio. I still occasionally pull out my pointe shoes and dance in my dorm room, but…dorm rooms aren’t really conducive to dancing. Haha.

But honestly, I’m happy up here. Regardless of the miserable weather, I really enjoy myself up here. The academics are good and there’s always things to do. For the first time in a while, I actually have a social life. :P

So yeah, not much new or exciting to report on. It’s just college. I feel bad because I haven’t been posting that often, but now that I’m so busy, there’s not as much time. For the first time in a while I don’t have any homework to do, so I figured I’d finally take the time to give y’all an update.

Oh, and turkish is going well. It’s probably my favorite class. I made an A+ on my midterm in the class. We’re still only learning the basics, but I’m slowly learning how to converse in turkish. I really need to practice my vocabulary though. The verbs are killing me. For some reason I find them so much harder to remember than spanish verbs. Probably because the spelling of many verbs is very similar. For example: “dinlemek” means to listen, whereas “dinlenmek” means to rest. There’s only one letter’s difference!!

But yeah, that’s life.

I miss Ballet!!

Modern is a fun class, but every time I’m there I wish it was ballet.

I miss ballet so much. I put on my pointe shoes and dance in my dorm room, but then I’m frustrated because I haven’t made any progress (because I haven’t done ballet in close to 6 months). It’s like this ache deep inside of me, this feeling of jumping out of my skin, I have to get back to ballet!!

I’m not going to sit here and say modern is easy for me, but it doesn’t provide a challenge like ballet does. Modern is too natural. Dancing in bare feet, rolling on the floor – while it’s difficult to coordinate my body movements, the actions in and of themselves are normal. I dance in bare feet everyday. I don’t dance in pointe shoes. Ballet is a challenge because it is so unnatural.

I want to get back to ballet class so badly. I suppose I could give my own class in my dorm room, but really?? I’ll never any serious improvement like that.

I’m just wondering how I would fit ballet into my busy college schedule. Most of the dance classes offered by OSU I can’t take because their hours conflict with my academic classes. And I really want to go to BalletMet, but that costs extra money, plus the time lost in the commute by bus.

I suppose where there’s a will there’s a way, but right now it just seems so impossibly unreachable. I want to desperately improve my ability on pointe. I don’t want to be a professional dancer anymore, but I want to be on their level (or close to it). I want being on pointe to feel as natural as being barefoot.

I long so much to be back in ballet class. Part of me wishes I had stayed home and gone to the community college so I could still keep attending my home studio. That is how much I miss ballet (because if you know me, you know I swore I’d never go to ASU).

If I decide to make this work, it’ll take some serious planning and time management on my part. And it will take serious dedication as well, because it won’t be easy. For the first time in a long time, I actually have homework – and a lot of it. I guess I could do homework on the 20-30 minute commute it takes to get to BalletMet.

But then there’s money. As a college student BalletMet offers adult classes at $7 per class. That’s not outrageous – but it adds up. I obviously cannot afford to go to school fulltime, dance, and have a job – so my parents would have to pay for it. Hm. I hate adding on more expenses to my college. But is there any other way??

I guess I’ll figure it out. But I just don’t know how much longer I can go without ballet.

Modern Dance, BalletMet, & ECP

Modern dance is going really well, though I’ve been quite sore from it (I still haven’t made it to the gym yet). But I was quite happy today because the teacher told me that I was really good at modern, especially coming from a ballet background. I think in this case, not having devoted my entire life to ballet is good. It gives me enough knowledge to be able to catch on to combinations quickly and understand certain terminology, but ballet is not so ingrained into my body that it’s interfering with my modern dancing.

She also asked me to demonstrate a falling exercise for the class because apparently I was doing it the way she wanted it done. She wanted the class to compare my falling to another guy’s falling which the class had pointed out as being impressive. We’ve also been doing this floor combination and she let me be one of the few who got to learn a more complicated version of it. I have to work on it though for my homework. It is more difficult!! Plus I’m finding my lack of activity over the summer has resulted in a loss of my flexibility (even though my blog posts make it seem like I stretched a lot). So I need to start working on my flexibility again, especially so I can perform the floor combination to the best of my ability.

I do feel a little self-conscious in the class due to my lack of flexibility. Mainly because we have a few ex-gymnasts who are VERY flexible. I’m certainly not letting my inflexibility stop me from doing my best but I just want to feel like I’m on the same playing field as the other girls (who I consider more advanced).

Anyways, I emailed the people at BalletMet and got a reply that told me with a student ID one class is $7. I’m not exactly sure how good of a deal that is but it does allow me the option of choosing how many classes I take a week. (With the standard adult payment you only get to choose between a 1 or 5 class card). I’m still waiting to hear back about whether or not I can take a beginner class on pointe (yes I did bring my shoes with me).

But on another completely unrelated note, being that I’m part of the International Affairs Scholars program, I am required to join this program called the English Conversation Partner program. We get paired with an international student in order to help them learn about American culture and learn English better. And we in return, are supposed to learn about their culture and hopefully make a friend.

My ECP person wasn’t at the orientation meeting, so tonight I had my first meeting with her. I have to say it was very awkward. There was a lot of forced dialogue. That’s how the leaders said it would be though. They are forcing us to make friends after all. It doesn’t help that I’m not the most social person. Hopefully things get less awkward as time goes on. I don’t know if we’ll actually become friends, but hopefully we can establish some sort of relationship.

Also, she’s from Hong Kong. I was really hoping to get someone who’s Turkish so I could practice my budding Turkish skills, but seriously, everyone in the program is Asian. Oh well. I joined the Turkish Student Association and the also do something similar to that, so maybe I’ll take that up too. I really want to become fluent Turkish.

Dancing at BalletMet

So I move into Ohio State on the 18th. Today I was helping pack up some nonessential items and I had to go through my dance bag to see what I would take (since I am taking modern there). It made me realize how much I love dance and how much I do not, not want to dance while in college. None of the ballet classes offered by OSU fit into my current schedule so that only leaves the option of finding an outside studio.

The best solution I have found is to take adult classes at BalletMet. They have the biggest variety of classes at the lowest price. However, I’m still not sure the price is something I can afford. It’s something I’ll have to check on once I get in Ohio, because their website doesn’t offer much payment information.

And I hope they still allow registration. Maybe the adult classes don’t have a registration cut off like the youth division does. And I wonder if they’d allow me to do some of the basic ballet classes on pointe?? I still really want to improve my skills on pointe but they don’t offer a specific pointe class for adults. I feel like if I explained my situation they might be more lenient.

But I hope it is something I can afford and that I will have time for. I really love ballet. Even though I have also developed a love for modern, ballet will always be my first and strongest love. I don’t think I can rest until I achieve the level of skill I desire in ballet. It’s just such a beautiful and elegant art form. I desire so much to dance like that.

But, on another note, I starting to get nervous about moving off to college. I’m going to be so far away!! In a city where I know NO ONE. I’ve been waiting all summer for this day to arrive and now that it’s almost here, I want to postpone it some more….I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s just nerve-racking. I’ve never been this far from home for this love. Even though I’m excited to go and exert my independence, part of me is still not ready to grow up.

Also, you probably don’t know, but all this summer I have been making a quilt to take with me to college. I wanted to make one 1.) because I wanted to say I accomplished something this summer and 2.) I thought it would be good to have a warm quilt during the frozen Ohio winters. Haha. But amazingly, it’s finished, and with a week to spare. Now I won’t know what to do with my days. I feel like most of the packing is done, besides the last minute stuff like toiletries.

So there. I honestly haven’t been up to much lately, which is why I haven’t posted in a while. But now that college is finally drawing near, I’ll probably be posting a lot more…at least until the newness of college wears off.

Becoming an Expert

I’ve always wanted to become an expert as something, to devote myself fully to something until I became the best. I just don’t know what that something would be.

I know, what about ballet & dance?? That’s the first thing that pops into my mind too. I love ballet and the discipline it requires, but because I started so late, I don’t know if I could ever dance on pointe the way professionals do. And I’d never consider myself an expert at ballet until I learned to dance on pointe. When I started pointe, my foot bones were already fused, so I don’t know if I’d ever be able to dance on pointe relatively pain-free (because my feet are definitely not suited for pointe work naturally). Of course foot bones and some pain are no reason to give up on a dream, but it’s just a thought.

What other things could I devote myself to?? I want to become good at something athletic. I’ve never been particularly gifted in the athletics department, so I’ve always been attracted to the idea of becoming proficient at something athletic. However team sports don’t appeal to me. I like to do things by myself so I can progress at my own pace. That doesn’t leave many things. I’ve considered taking up running, or perhaps martial arts. Maybe yoga??

Anyways, I still really love dance, don’t get that part wrong. I’m just trying out different scenarios in my head. Thinking out loud. Some things (like running or yoga) could go hand in hand with dance. I’ve just always wanted to be able to do something that could wow my friends (like dancing on pointe). Oh who knows?? I’d never give up dance if I have to. And I might still finish learning how to dance on pointe, even if it hurts my feet.

Made: Ballerina

Right now, I’m watching a show called Made on MTV, where people have a coach who tries to “make” them into something. And in the episode I’m watching now, the girl is trying to become a ballerina.

It reminds me of when I first started ballet, and it also makes me realize, that I’m not as suck-y of a dancer as I thought I was. I mean, dancers are always known for being self-critical, but I feel like a lot of times I’m harder on myself than most because I started late and I feel like I have to “catch-up.”

This show is reminding me how much I love ballet. I haven’t been thinking about it much because I’ve been worrying about college. I wish I could’ve done ballet over the summer, but we need to save money. Which makes me even more anxious to get into college and start my modern class. I have absolutely convinced myself that modern is the dance style that is a perfect fit for me.

Hopefully, once I get into class and see how I like it, I can talk to my teacher about maybe auditioning for the dance department?? I don’t know. The one main issue keeping me from 100% saying I want to major in dance is money – and getting a job after graduation. My parents have estimated my monthly payment to be around $1,000 when I graduate. Add that to a $1,000 apartment bill and there goes most undergrads’ salary.

I’m honestly think I’m probably putting the cart before the horse with college. I think I just need to relax and wait until I get into college, and get into my classes and then take things from there. I just have this sense of urgency. How am I supposed to figure out what I want to do in 4 years?? And if I major in dance, how am I supposed to get my technique where it needs to be in 4 years?? And how am I supposed to afford all this??

Ugh. As I have said countless times before, I hate unknowns.

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