I miss Ballet!!

Modern is a fun class, but every time I’m there I wish it was ballet.

I miss ballet so much. I put on my pointe shoes and dance in my dorm room, but then I’m frustrated because I haven’t made any progress (because I haven’t done ballet in close to 6 months). It’s like this ache deep inside of me, this feeling of jumping out of my skin, I have to get back to ballet!!

I’m not going to sit here and say modern is easy for me, but it doesn’t provide a challenge like ballet does. Modern is too natural. Dancing in bare feet, rolling on the floor – while it’s difficult to coordinate my body movements, the actions in and of themselves are normal. I dance in bare feet everyday. I don’t dance in pointe shoes. Ballet is a challenge because it is so unnatural.

I want to get back to ballet class so badly. I suppose I could give my own class in my dorm room, but really?? I’ll never any serious improvement like that.

I’m just wondering how I would fit ballet into my busy college schedule. Most of the dance classes offered by OSU I can’t take because their hours conflict with my academic classes. And I really want to go to BalletMet, but that costs extra money, plus the time lost in the commute by bus.

I suppose where there’s a will there’s a way, but right now it just seems so impossibly unreachable. I want to desperately improve my ability on pointe. I don’t want to be a professional dancer anymore, but I want to be on their level (or close to it). I want being on pointe to feel as natural as being barefoot.

I long so much to be back in ballet class. Part of me wishes I had stayed home and gone to the community college so I could still keep attending my home studio. That is how much I miss ballet (because if you know me, you know I swore I’d never go to ASU).

If I decide to make this work, it’ll take some serious planning and time management on my part. And it will take serious dedication as well, because it won’t be easy. For the first time in a long time, I actually have homework – and a lot of it. I guess I could do homework on the 20-30 minute commute it takes to get to BalletMet.

But then there’s money. As a college student BalletMet offers adult classes at $7 per class. That’s not outrageous – but it adds up. I obviously cannot afford to go to school fulltime, dance, and have a job – so my parents would have to pay for it. Hm. I hate adding on more expenses to my college. But is there any other way??

I guess I’ll figure it out. But I just don’t know how much longer I can go without ballet.

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Modern Dance, BalletMet, & ECP

Modern dance is going really well, though I’ve been quite sore from it (I still haven’t made it to the gym yet). But I was quite happy today because the teacher told me that I was really good at modern, especially coming from a ballet background. I think in this case, not having devoted my entire life to ballet is good. It gives me enough knowledge to be able to catch on to combinations quickly and understand certain terminology, but ballet is not so ingrained into my body that it’s interfering with my modern dancing.

She also asked me to demonstrate a falling exercise for the class because apparently I was doing it the way she wanted it done. She wanted the class to compare my falling to another guy’s falling which the class had pointed out as being impressive. We’ve also been doing this floor combination and she let me be one of the few who got to learn a more complicated version of it. I have to work on it though for my homework. It is more difficult!! Plus I’m finding my lack of activity over the summer has resulted in a loss of my flexibility (even though my blog posts make it seem like I stretched a lot). So I need to start working on my flexibility again, especially so I can perform the floor combination to the best of my ability.

I do feel a little self-conscious in the class due to my lack of flexibility. Mainly because we have a few ex-gymnasts who are VERY flexible. I’m certainly not letting my inflexibility stop me from doing my best but I just want to feel like I’m on the same playing field as the other girls (who I consider more advanced).

Anyways, I emailed the people at BalletMet and got a reply that told me with a student ID one class is $7. I’m not exactly sure how good of a deal that is but it does allow me the option of choosing how many classes I take a week. (With the standard adult payment you only get to choose between a 1 or 5 class card). I’m still waiting to hear back about whether or not I can take a beginner class on pointe (yes I did bring my shoes with me).

But on another completely unrelated note, being that I’m part of the International Affairs Scholars program, I am required to join this program called the English Conversation Partner program. We get paired with an international student in order to help them learn about American culture and learn English better. And we in return, are supposed to learn about their culture and hopefully make a friend.

My ECP person wasn’t at the orientation meeting, so tonight I had my first meeting with her. I have to say it was very awkward. There was a lot of forced dialogue. That’s how the leaders said it would be though. They are forcing us to make friends after all. It doesn’t help that I’m not the most social person. Hopefully things get less awkward as time goes on. I don’t know if we’ll actually become friends, but hopefully we can establish some sort of relationship.

Also, she’s from Hong Kong. I was really hoping to get someone who’s Turkish so I could practice my budding Turkish skills, but seriously, everyone in the program is Asian. Oh well. I joined the Turkish Student Association and the also do something similar to that, so maybe I’ll take that up too. I really want to become fluent Turkish.

Dancing at BalletMet

So I move into Ohio State on the 18th. Today I was helping pack up some nonessential items and I had to go through my dance bag to see what I would take (since I am taking modern there). It made me realize how much I love dance and how much I do not, not want to dance while in college. None of the ballet classes offered by OSU fit into my current schedule so that only leaves the option of finding an outside studio.

The best solution I have found is to take adult classes at BalletMet. They have the biggest variety of classes at the lowest price. However, I’m still not sure the price is something I can afford. It’s something I’ll have to check on once I get in Ohio, because their website doesn’t offer much payment information.

And I hope they still allow registration. Maybe the adult classes don’t have a registration cut off like the youth division does. And I wonder if they’d allow me to do some of the basic ballet classes on pointe?? I still really want to improve my skills on pointe but they don’t offer a specific pointe class for adults. I feel like if I explained my situation they might be more lenient.

But I hope it is something I can afford and that I will have time for. I really love ballet. Even though I have also developed a love for modern, ballet will always be my first and strongest love. I don’t think I can rest until I achieve the level of skill I desire in ballet. It’s just such a beautiful and elegant art form. I desire so much to dance like that.

But, on another note, I starting to get nervous about moving off to college. I’m going to be so far away!! In a city where I know NO ONE. I’ve been waiting all summer for this day to arrive and now that it’s almost here, I want to postpone it some more….I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s just nerve-racking. I’ve never been this far from home for this love. Even though I’m excited to go and exert my independence, part of me is still not ready to grow up.

Also, you probably don’t know, but all this summer I have been making a quilt to take with me to college. I wanted to make one 1.) because I wanted to say I accomplished something this summer and 2.) I thought it would be good to have a warm quilt during the frozen Ohio winters. Haha. But amazingly, it’s finished, and with a week to spare. Now I won’t know what to do with my days. I feel like most of the packing is done, besides the last minute stuff like toiletries.

So there. I honestly haven’t been up to much lately, which is why I haven’t posted in a while. But now that college is finally drawing near, I’ll probably be posting a lot more…at least until the newness of college wears off.

Ballet in College

So all along, I have been planning on dancing in college. Even if I didn’t major in it in college, I was planning on continuing my education. But now I’m not so sure.

I mean, when I go off to college, it’s going to be a whole new experience. Who knows how busy I’ll be??

And recently I’ve got this opera bug in me, and if I were to major in that, or any kind of music, I definitely wouldn’t have time for ballet.

Part of me feels like there’s no point in continuing with ballet, because a professional career is unlikely. But the other part of me doesn’t want to quit until I feel I’ve become proficient in ballet (like learning how to partner and all that).

I just don’t know.

My parents say this opera bug is a passing phase, but who knows?? I can never make up my mind about anything. I just like performing, and in opera you don’t have to start training as early as you do in ballet. I still have time. But again, who knows??

I’m also thinking from the practical side. If I dance where I want to in college (BalletMet), it could cost up to $3,000 a year!! Add that on to college funds, and you’ve got some serious debt. Maybe that money could be spent in a better way??

I don’t know.

I would like to start taking voice lessons now, but I don’t know if my parents would let me, what with all the financial and time constraints ballet has put on me.

I just have a lot to think about between now and college.